Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
