How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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