I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
