It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
