i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
