Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
