You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
