for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
