Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
