I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
