Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
