I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
