Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
