I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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