But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
