yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
