would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
