Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize