She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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