we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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