he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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