Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
