i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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