If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize