I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
