my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
