Buhtt sex?
People in love make me want to vomit
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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