**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He? As in you personified your dick?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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