but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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