i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
