remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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