Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
