This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
