On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
