Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
