the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
