The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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