life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
