Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
