So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
