You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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