She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
