Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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