Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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