She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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