My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just found a bag of teeth...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
