Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
