just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
