And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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