Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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