Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
