soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize