You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I checked into jail on foursquare
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
