I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
