Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
