how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
