ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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