Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
