the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize