just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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