why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
