Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize