Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
