We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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