So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
