yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Even my vagina gasped.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
