Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Everything about him screamed your future.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
